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Expectatations that Parallel Society: Some Tips for New Teachers

By Tim Law

The idea for the name of this column came from a very good friend who also happens to be a superintendent of a school in upstate New York. We had a long conversation on Super Bowl Sunday (well before the game of course!) regarding parents, teachers, students and schools and how it is so important to instill in our students "expectations that parallel society." To do otherwise is a grave misuse of time and energy and very unfair to the impressionable minds we are given to teach.

A very useful saying that has served me well in a variety of classrooms (especially with middle and high school students) is "Respect is a two-way street." I am amazed at the number of teachers and parents who think they have to be "buddies" with their students and children respectively.

In a classroom setting, the key variable is cultivating two-way respect between the students and teacher. The best teachers do their best to encourage and push their charges to develop the habit of giving their best efforts on a daily basis. This certainly parallels a student's future employer, doesn't it? Are there times when the kids won't like you? Of course! However, what truly matters in the long run is for the students to make progress and learn two main lessons on how they will feel good about themselves. (Newsflash! It's not in accumulationg a lot of material things, especailly things given to them without it being earned!)

The two main ways we feel good about ourselves are in the following principles:

1. Our personal accomplishments, ie, doing well in academics, sports, band, chorus or other positive extracurricular activities.
2. The development of good interpersonal skills with others.

Why do you think I feel so strongly about the negative example much of the Hollywood/Entertainment field is doing to our young people? A great deal of their "entertainment" flies in the face of these two principles and has led to a number of challenges, anxiety and needless suffering for today's youth! Much of the Hollywood/Entertainment culture appears to be in a race with each other to compete for the "gutters of society" and taking many young, impressionable minds with them!

Teachers and parents who really care about their students and children in the long-run will do their best to expect and model excellent manners, behaviors and work ethics. If you do these things with high expectations, you will greatly increase the odds of happy, healthy children, teens and later on, adults. Remember, young people are always watching adults and modeling habits and behaviors we display. Be a good example and role model, someone they can look up to!